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Happy Thanksgiving

Well, I’m back - for a while, at least.

It’s amazing how perseveration works. It’s so easy for me to find myself totally absorbed by something I never even considered interesting before. And, of course, that means I’ve lost interest in something else I once felt totally dedicated to. Anyway, I’m back to my blog - again.

Don’t ask me why I’m writing this at 4:00am. Couldn’t possibly explain. But the early hour does give me an early advantage in wishing you all Happy Thanksgiving. Dinner tomorrow today will be happy, comforting and interesting. Almost everyone there will be autistic. Everyone will be family. And everyone will be loved. And full.

Have fun, People. Relax and cherish those who care about you.

Chobi \

More on Anonymity

I was writing this as a reply to the comments to yesterday’s post, but I’ve gotten several more responses in email and elsewhere, so I figure my position may need more clarity, so I’ll reply to all here….

This topic always seems to make people angry, or nervous. I’ve seen entire online communities become embroiled in fear after some punk simply has a good day on Google and calls them on the phone. Creepy as that might be, the problem is not that the guy found your real name and number, it’s that the guy is a creep and needs to learn what boundaries are. That’s why we have sysadmins, restraining orders, muscle-bound friends and police.

As I said, Folks, I’m not criticizing anyone’s attempt to stay anonymous. I’m simply trying to encourage people not to put all their hopes on a pony that may run off when they need it most. Whether or not you use a pseudonym, be just as careful about what you share as you would be using your real name. In my case, at some point, it just didn’t matter anymore; if I was being so careful to behave just as I would under my real identity, then why waste the effort to try to preserve my secret identity?

Besides, it is essential to me to be able to speak as Truthfully as possible every time I post. I need my Word to be trustworthy. And only a fool listens to a man in disguise. Whether or not you have a good reason for a disguise, it’s still a disguise and it’s impossible for you to give your Word when you aren’t yourself.

I’m happy to say that I’ve managed to make some marginal people angry in my day. I’ve had to choose whether to give up my freedom to speak as myself or to use the tools at my disposal to manage their expectations. I have 20 phone numbers in my null-ring Ignore list. I never even hear the phone ring. I have countless addresses set to drop straight into the spam file - and I’ve learned not to make someone else’s issues my problem. Most of all, my words have just as much weight online as they would if you were standing in front of me - since you so easily could be.

After saying all this, I have to give full disclosure: I do have one false identity online. I have a very pretty female avatar in Second Life who was created in a fit of experimentation during the beta phase. (Ironically, she has managed to get a fairly weighty quote in a serious book about Second Life.) But even she will tell you who she really is - if you ask.

So, again, I am not saying you shouldn’t use a pseudonym. And I am certainly not saying you should strew personal details carelessly about, or trust in the kindness of strangers. I’m simply suggesting that there is a lot to be said for the simplicity and truthfulness of non-anonymity. And, most important: it’s unwise to put all your trust in your safety net.

In reply to a topic on Aspies for Freedom:

Give it up. It doesn’t take a forensics expert to track you down. All it takes is for you to start feeling safe. You’ll drop enough data as the time goes by to make you pretty easy to track. I found that out years ago, when someone announced their upcoming suicide in a usenet newsgroup. I managed to get the cops to their door within the hour. And they assumed they were anonymous, too. That’s when I gave up the illusion of privacy on the net.

Live publicly. I do. You may find out about my piercings, tattoos, that I hate fundamentalists of all types, or even the fact that I’m autistic, but what the hell. I’d never be happy working for someone who searched out and used such things against me.

If there is someone else you fear, or if you intend to say things that would embarrass you if they were overheard, you may want to take time offline to deal with those issues before saying them online.

Not being critical, just telling you what I’ve learned during 25 years online.

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