I have made a discovery I need to share with my brother (or sister) working Aspies.

It has always made me cross when people come to work sick. Not so much because I seem to catch every cold that’s offered to me - though I do - but it’s just a selfish thing to do.

Sure, I can understand not wanting to spend a hard-earned Vacation Day sitting at home with a nasty cold, when you could save it for a time when the sun is bright and the birds are singing. But it usually results in me having to waste my precious PTO being sick, and holidays at my desk instead of with my family. How fair is that?

But, most of all, it aggravates my Aspie sense of Right and Wrong. Everybody knows you don’t go to work and infect your workmates! Right?

Of course they do. So, why do I hear a wave of hacking coughs and sneezes echoing across the call center? And why do I get so many blank looks when I complain? And why does it seem so “Ok” with the vanishing pool of uninfected co-workers? Well, I finally figured it out after all these decades: they don’t really mean it!

Everyone says it’s bad to share contagion. But it isn’t sincere. It’s much more important that you are where they expect you to be: at work. And I always suspected that. But that isn’t my revelation. That’s rather typical for folks that spend so little time thinking things through. Here’s my real discovery:

Sharing an illness is a form of social interaction!

Sharing a cold is one more way that people reaffirm their identity as a tribe. They come to work expecting an increased degree of social inclusion, and they get it. The group spends large amounts of tine discussing who had it first, how bad is it going to be, how long should it go on, and did it get to your lungs like it did mine. It isn’t frowned upon as a danger to the herd, it’s regarded as a thing to be shared and treasured like a gift to the group identity.

And, if you really want to be the center of all this love, be the guy who has a stash of extra strong cough drops. Or the go-to person for aspirin. Or mint tea.

I went to work sick this last week. Just because i was feeling vindictive. Hacking and wheezing and sneezing like gangbusters. Guess what. Tomorrow I  move to a seat right in the heart of the room. Invited there! Lots of people looking forward to me being there! No more sitting at the periphery, all alone, no one to talk to. I’ve had lovely conversations about sinuses and choking in the night, and now I’m part of the Group. For now. And I saved a week of Vacation Days!

I’m thinking of catching this new strain of vaccine-resistant mumps that’s going around. That should get me promoted!

Jeff

Edit - 23 May 2010 21:52: It just occurred to me that some folks might need to be told that I’m not really intending to catch the mumps. In fact, the unlikeliness of me doing that was meant to underscore how strange I found the willingness of others to accept shared illness.  

Tags: Cold, cough, illness, interaction, NTs, revelation, sick, social

I decided to talk to head of my department at work about Aspergers. It was a tense meeting for me, but not because of her reception. She seemed sincerely interested. And I really have no choice but to trust that’s true.

I didn’t try to change the world in one meeting. My goals were simple: to “come out” as an Aspie, and to offer information. Not only for my benefit, but for the other Aspie’s - “out” or not - who are, or will be, working in the department.

After letting her know about my diagnosis, I told her that my purpose for the meeting was simply to get her permission to send her information, and to answer any questions she may have. I asked her if she would mind my sending her a few links to information on dealing with Aspergers in the workplace. She agreed to that. Of course, like all good intentions, this turned out more difficult to achieve than I originally thought it would be. It’s surprising how hard it is to find neurodiversity-friendly, useful, non-overwhelming information that can cover the basics in three links or less. But, after three days of reading, I got it done.

So, in the interest of saving some of that hard work for the next person, I list them here:

Office of Disability Employment Policy

Working with people who have Aspergers

Asperger’s and IT: Dark secret or open secret?

Feel free to comment, but feel especially encouraged to point me to more and better resources.

It’s a hard decision to tell your company you’re autistic. It helps to have something to offer in exchange for their interest. It’s important to give them every tool as they, hopefully, step up to the challenge.

Tags: Aspergers, Disclosure, management, manager, neurodiversity, resources, work, workplace

For a long time, it’s been difficult for me to find time and energy to blog. With the 10-hour work days it just isn’t in me to sit down and do the work in the evening. Composing on a company machine at work is not an option. My iPhone - though I love it - is just too tiny to use for blogging during the day.

End result: Nothing.

Now I have my Pad. Large keyboard, large screen, and now I can peck away whenever I find a minute or two free throughout the day.

True, I have to replace a lot of applications that were fine on the iPhone and just look like crap on the large screen. So it costs more than I planned. And the shirt pocket isn’t going to do it as a carrying case anymore. But I can type almost as fast on the iPad as a regular keyboard. And I can actually see the letters on the screen.

So we’ll see. No more excuses. Time to get over my blogger’s block.

Tags: iPad